As Ronald Reagan said back in the 1980s regarding then-pending legislation: “We don’t have enemies, we have opponents.” That is not naïve … that was Reagan’s take on the game of politics. He could do political battle with the Speaker of the House during the day, then enjoy a drink together after work.
Unfortunately, that view seems to have become a totally foreign concept today for many – many! – people, with our country, our communities, our churches and even our families having become hotbeds of the “us vs. them” mentality. Far too often, far too many of us are eager to demonize anyone with differing opinions, viewpoints, or experiences than our own, casting those who dare to think differently as enemies rather than opponents. More than ever, it seems to me that it is vitally important for each of us – especially our “leaders” – to try to help lower the heated rhetoric across the board. It is difficult to reach a mutual understanding when we are poised on the precipice of attack, ready to pounce, with ever-more divisive words, accusations and actions.
Those who advocated for face masks and appropriate social distancing during a pandemic do not have to be your enemies. Those who support a woman’s right to choose how to best care for her body do not have to be your enemies. Those who believe that “love is love” – regardless of gender or sexual orientation – do not have to be your enemies. Those who look with empathy and compassion upon those who are fleeing their native homeland for a chance for their children to have a better life here in the USA do not have to be your enemies. Those who believe in, and work toward, sensible gun safety controls do not have to be your enemies. Those who advocate for clean and safe drinking water for everyone do not have to be your enemies. And those who believe that a town can be served just as well by a natural turf athletic field as it can by an artificial turf athletic field do not have to be your enemies.
In each case above – and countless others not cited here – those with differing opinions than our own should not be seen as our enemies… simply as opponents. To do differently only succeeds in continuing a steep and treacherous slide down the very slippery, and well-worn, slope of division.
It may be natural to not want to listen to our enemies, but we need to hear the views of our opponents, because policies and positions can change with thoughtful exchanges in moderate tones. That doesn’t mean abandoning one’s passion about an issue. It means opening a dialogue and arriving at a solution that is reasonable for all.
Some might say, however, that it is only natural to seek to change other’s views through loud and angry voices … and in some cases that may be true. After all, people who have been marginalized are often left with few options than to express their views loudly and forcefully. We will all recall that it took many years of protests – and yes, sometimes, riots – to move from the “Jim Crow era” to the “civil rights era” – and, even still, many believe that we have not yet moved that needle nearly far enough to become a society that is equal for all.
From a “big picture” view, however, I’d wager that most everyone that you know wants similar things from life… family, freedom, shelter, safety, food and water. How each of these is fully satisfied, though, can be unique for each person. And there are two other things that everyone wants: to be respected and to live with dignity. Respect and dignity, however, are not commodities – they are the traits that build our own character, a character which is clearly demonstrated and displayed by how we treat those who dare to think differently, look differently, act differently, worship differently or live differently than we do.
Face masks, a women’s right to choose, LGBTQ rights, illegal immigration, gun safety, clean water, turf fields, and many other issues are each important. But sacrificing all sense of community by alienating our neighbors, friends, and family simply because we disagree is not the best path forward.
Being at odds over one, two or more issues doesn’t have to mean we are enemies. It can simply mean we are opponents. There’s a big difference.
Respectfully,
Wade P. Richmond
Pascoag
Thank you, Wade. So important.
Beautifully said. Agreeing to disagree. Learning how to get along and most importantly, teaching our children how to get along in the world. With everyone.
Very well stated Wade, thank you.