Choose partners carefully for cross country skiing: A weekly excerpt from Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sanity

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Cross country skiing is a test of endurance and should be enjoyed only with true cross country skiers: Those individuals well versed in the essentials needed for a successful day of swooshing through the great north woods, or even in a local park if it is available and large enough to ensure the true cross country experience.

There are ways to test a potential cross country partner. First, examine his skis. If they are well waxed and shiny with hardly any scratches or scrapes on them, this is not someone you want to go skiing with.

Obviously, it is someone who sticks to the well worn trail or even prefers to skate-ski across a large meadow or golf course for the pure enjoyment of skiing and exercising. Lose him.

Such a partner would be akin to going fishing with someone who wanted to only fish from shore or from a large safe pontoon boat or the like. True, there are times when that can be a pleasure, particularly if several six packs are attached to said pontoon boat, but for the most part, it means this person is not really into what he is doing.

Ask him where he thinks a good place to go ski might be. If he says, “Oh, the park up the road has a nice easy trail to follow,” you know this is not a real skier. He is just putting on the clothes to look like one, which brings us to the next important point.

Never under any circumstances ski with anyone who wears a skin tight purple and yellow outfit which looks like colored long johns which are three sizes too small. They are not cross country skiers. They are downhill skiers who are no longer allowed on the mountain for some reason.

These guys only recently began showing up on cross country trails, probably, in part, because the downhills have become so packed. Real cross country skiers look like someone who has just put on some skis and boots and decided to go for a ski in the woods. They don’t look like they just came off a New York City runway wearing the latest in weird fashion statements.

I have a friend, Jake, who loves to cross country ski. When he goes, he almost never knows where he is going to end up. One time up in Quebec, he turned up two towns over, after following the ridge of some local mountain range.

The good thing is that no one there even paid him any attention. He just looked like an ordinary guy with skis. Had he been wearing one of those weird outfits, he might have been mistaken for a Las Vegas refugee.

Check to see if the individual has a sense of humor. Tell him about how you were skiing for two days in the back country and how funny it was to see the faces on the rescuers when they said they had been sent to find you. If he laughs, he’s in. If he looks at you with a weird face, he’s out.

Another friend of mine, RB, once took me on a cross country trip that I will never forget. That is another good thing about cross country skiing. If the trip is done right, it is etched in your mind forever.

Well, anyway, RB said that he had scoped out this trail to a place called Greely Pond, halfway between Lincoln, N.H. and Waterville Valley, N.H. This, he assured me, was a great trail. Not only could we ski over the mountain and, subsequently, the pond, but we could get a beer in Waterville before returning. A plan made by a true cross country skier.

The best part is that it took us twice as long as we planned to even reach the pond at the halfway mark, and we then realized, after scouting out the area for deer prints and other nature signs, that it was getting dark! And we had no lights!

It was great skiing back in the dark, shouting to one another so we knew where we were, bumping the occasional tree in the dark, hearing weird sounds following us. I’ll never forget that feeling when we made it back to the parking area and the car was still there! It was great! We still talk about it, especially how long it took us to thaw out. It is hard to find partners like that.

Another way of testing the potential partner is by just casually, asking him what he plans on taking with him on the cross country ski adventure. If he says things like the new Plasma A Energy Bars, Real Fruit Juice and a satellite locating device, along with a flashlight, just in case, forget it.

No self respecting cross country skier would take that stuff with him. Tell him you’re taking chocolate bars, chocolate chip cookies, a jackknife, Gatorade and some matches in case you need to stay overnight in the woods somewhere. Maybe even your flask. Last, tell him about how you skied for 12 hours straight one time without seeing a single human or any indication of civilization, like a road or power line.

Tell him you are hoping that happens again real soon because that is what cross country skiing is all about. Notice his reaction when you tell him this. If his eye starts to twitch a bit, and he starts to mumble to himself, keep an eye on him. If he responds by saying, “Heck, I skied for 14 hours once, half of it up a mountain,” you’ve got a winner.

Storytelling is always a good skill to have when you are trying to avoid thinking about freezing to death in the woods. That completes the test. If he passes all those tests, pick a remote trail and go for it. If not, forget it. Who wants to go cross country skiing with someone who is that well prepared anyway? Just ruins the adventure all together.

The above is an excerpt from the book Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sanity… by Dick Martin, a Glocester resident, former Burrillville High School teacher and contributor for NRI NOW.

Martin can be contacted at [email protected].

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