Am I happy? A weekly excerpt from Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sanity

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I’m trying to figure out if I’m happy. It used to be easy, I am told, but now we need an indicator, a psychoanalytic thermometer; a form to fill out in Time magazine, which will tell us, finally, if we are happy.

I think I’m happy. I have enough money. I’m healthy, have a nice family, enjoy what I do, live in a great place, but, according to the latest statistics, I may not be happy after all.

According to the Time poll, 80 percent of those 1,009 adults polled generally wake up happy. Maybe it is what happens after they wake up that ruins the rest of the day though.

Sources of happiness include relationships with their children (77 percent,) friends and friendships (76 percent) and contributing to the lives of others (75 percent.)  Interestingly, the greatest source of happiness was children/grandchildren, which included 35 percent of those polled.

Okay, I wake up happy. If I wake up, I’m happy! It’s just when I don’t sleep that I am unhappy. I can’t wake up happy, if I am not asleep, right? Anyway…

So, once you are up, how do you stay happy? Most said they talk to friends and family to improve their moods or listen to music. I am assuming that isn’t the kind of music that suggests your heart has been broken (again,) or you lost your own true love (forever) or the country western favorite “The bridge washed out, and I can’t swim and my baby’s on the other side..” or rap music, which to me is akin to scraping your fingers across a chalkboard.

On the other hand a good chorus of “She left the suds in the bucket and the clothes hanging out on the line…” definitely perks me up for the day. Don’t ask me why. I don’t know. Apparently, neither do the researchers.

Interestingly, a good portion of people take a bath or shower to feel better according to the survey, while only a handful have sex in order to get that “good feeling.” Makes me wonder who responded to this poll.

Money a source of happiness? According to the survey it didn’t make much difference to most people, but it did show that 88 percent of those people who made over $100,000 a year were happy “most or all of the time.” Doesn’t take a psychiatrist to figure that one out. Now that I think of it, psychiatrists fall into that category easily. I wonder what researchers make?

Nature or nurture for happiness? According to a University of Minnesota researcher it’s mostly in your genes, which accounts for about 50 percent of your tendency to be happy. The rest is whatever happens to you along the way and how you deal with it.

Also interesting was the finding that lottery winners and victims of crippling accidents initially have extensive highs and lows, but then return to their original baseline within a year’s time.

If they were basically happy people, they continue to be so for the most part. Although, I have to admit I have read about some lottery winners who basically wound up miserable after hitting the jackpot. They were in debt, had lost their friends and were surrounded constantly by people with their hands out looking for a donation. That could definitely be depressing.

Then there is the old half full, half empty glass theory. An observer looks at a glass exactly half full of water. If he sees it as half full, he is an optimist. If he sees it as half empty, a pessimist. Attitude is everything. Look at the Boston Red Sox. The glass is overflowing.

So, I take the test, which has only five questions on it regarding the condition of your life, your satisfaction with it, etc. Each one is rated on a scale of one to seven. I go down the list, and read the results. Apparently, I am “extremely satisfied” with my life.

There it is, affirmative evidence, graphed and everything. How can I dispute that?

But, am I REALLY happy. No, I mean REALLY happy? Could I get any happier? Maybe I should poll my friends and ask them. Maybe I only appear to be happy. What are appearances anyway? If I appear happy, but I really am not, does that mean I am actually depressed and don’t know it? How can I tell? Is there another test to take which can determine that?

Usually people who are miserable, however, are easy to spot and hard to endure. I had a neighbor once who was a regular curmudgeon (an old, grouchy guy, in other words.)

He was never happy. He complained about the weather, the town, the state, taxes, neighbors, drivers… you name it, he complained about it. He died old and crotchety as ever.

I always wondered how he managed to survive, given his attitude and the amount of nasty looks and comments which he seemed to draw to himself like some kind of nasty magnet. On the other hand, maybe that made him happy.

So, am I happy? Even after taking the test, there is no definitive answer, except to say, “Cheez, I really feel happy most of the time.” Maybe I should take another test.

The above is an excerpt from the book Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sanity… by Dick Martin, a Glocester resident, former Burrillville High School teacher and contributor for NRI NOW.

Martin can be contacted at [email protected].

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